Love is scary

Gosh. I am so confused. I'm probably gonna break up w/ the most sweetest guy ever. But I know he doesnt deserve me, I dont deserve him.
Especially the way I've been acting. Thank goodness no one reads them since I'm a nobody. I like Glen, but Carolyn likes him. What if it ends up being a Johnny thing or an erin, carolyn, and bobby thing. This sux so much. Glen flirts w/ me like he likes me, but idk. Who can tell w/ guys these days. Glen is so cute, and I get to see him everyday. Willie I barely see, but I love him so much. I think its just time to let go the love. I'm so afraid that I'm gonna break his heart. Sarah wants me to do it face to face. This is gonna be hard. I'm gonna end up crying when I see him Sunday. But I have to get through this. I cant keep him on the string and pulling him. I need to end it. =/ =[

i've written 2 new songs

But I dont know if I should post them. I dont think they are good enough.


=/

I've finally realized.....

When my mother died I felt like a very great person was lost. But now that I'm growing up, I have a realized some flaws of my mother. I'm not saying she wasn't great. But there are some flaws in her parenting.

-I recall one time her calling me fat. I was really mad.

-When she was seeing Robert she acted like he was the only one important. Or that he was so wonderful, which he wasn't as I came to understand as I have been getting older.

-I think she was bulemic.

-She knew she had heart and lung problems, but yet she still smoked.

-I think she knew she was dying.

-She would get mad over the stupidest stuff.

-She trusted too many people and look what happen.

-She would say stuff at the wrong time. Or be too loud. (which is probably where I get it from)

Minus those flaws there was some things that were great.

-She loved

-She was artistic

-She smelled nice

-She believed I would be famous one day. And she enjoyed me singing.

-I miss her hugs.

-Most of all I miss her being here. =/

I might even be a rockstar! =]

I loved my dream last night. I was famous. And my album sold over a billions dollars. Thus, I was on stage looking out to the crowd. People screaming my name. I felt the nervousness, the excitement, the adrenaline I needed. The music starts and I'm singing and my fans are singing along. I felt good, like I was wanted. I moved like I never had before. A bright light shone in my eye. The spotlight...I soaked it in and breathed out success. But I woke up............


It was all just a dream sadly.

I'm so mad...sortof

I didn't win the dat w/ Mitchel Musso! I mean I know there is a one a million chance but I wanted to be that one. I'm not mad at him...sort of, i mean i dont know the dude ok, but i wanted to win because maryland guys are stupid and the good ones are taken! RAWR! But oh well....

OMG! I wrote a new song. Its called Break my heart.

v-1: We tried to work it out. But maybe that wasnt the best. I gave you my heart and I trusted you. But you are just to much of a flirt. We should just go back to not talking. yeah yeah yeah. you can make up any exscuse or lie, but thats not what I'm about.

chorus:you break my heart into a thousand pieces and you say its because I deserve better. I gave you my heart and you walked all over it again and again.I see that look on your face. Oh, no here we go again. Save your breath. So lets get this over. Break, my...heart.

v-2:so lets go over this again. Should I really still call you a friend? What was I thinking? ooh. I was never really your girl, and you were never really my guy. We had great times, but it dont last...for you. Life is crazy when it comes to love. YEAH!

(chorus)
Bridge: yeah. Maybe we can try again, but i dont think so. I want you out of my life since you tore my heart apart. ooh. Why did we waste our love?!

(chorus x2)




-Thats my song. hope you enjoyed it. (I have better ones)

My first blog

OMG! This is my first blog on this blog site. Well...uhm today was my second day of Highschool...it was wierd, but not as scary as yesterday...which is good. I may try out for the school play...idk. Me and Carolyn dont sit next to eachother in Concept Based physics CM anymore! Stoopid alphabetical order! There are alot of hot guys in all my classes excet for U.S. History CM. Otherwise, highschool guys are such hotties. But, I think I'm too much of a spaz for them....oh well. But right now I'm still working on a song I'm writing. I still have to finish writing the chorus and the second verse so...yeah...Thats pretty much it for today!
ADIOS!